bells of saint john

[acerbictomes]

Man, okay, Steven Moffat? I AM NOT IMPRESSED.

• Clara's a patented Moffat Woman: sassy, flirty, fast-talking, met the Doctor when she was a child (is this creepy, or is it just me? It's creepy, right? Especially since it's supposed to be romantic? RIGHT.). The composition of her kiss with the Doctor is strikingly similar to River's and Amy's: beautiful woman leaps onto Doctor, Doctor is bewildered, hands windmill, girls have cooties, backs away. It's kind of like the "women-are-inexplicably-in-love-with-Tim-Drake" geek fantasy, the idea that if you're just smart enough or cool enough, girls are going to swoon into your arms without you doing much of anything to pursue them.
• Even though the hacking people thing was a good concept, and the villain was at the very least original, the monsters in the wifi didn't make much sense. Sort of like a compact version of the whole Weeping Angels hot mess! If the victims are only the ones who connect to the monster wifi, how'd the Great Intelligence control everyone in the cafe? Did every single one of those people connect to the monster wifi? That's an awfully huge coincidence... Well, it was cool, though, and that's all that matters, right?
• So: a strange man shows up at your house, knows your name, and won't go away. After that, you remember nothing other than being scared and disoriented. You wake up in your bed. The strange man is outside your window, and says he's guarding you. So you... act charmed, go downstairs, and step into his snog-box. I'm sorry, but no. A thousand times no. I don't care how hot Matt Smith is! People just don't act like that! That scene felt incredibly creepy, even though we the viewers knew it was completely innocent, and it's a testament to the prevalence of rape culture that a woman is expected to have that happen to her and think that it is cute.
• I really didn't like how Clara had to have skills zapped into her brain. This is the twenty-first century! A woman can have computer skills! On her own! With no alien intervention!
• I was really hoping for Clara to be an awesome hacker with her own agenda and motives. You know what would've been cool? If Clara'd been investigating the monster wifi herself and gotten uploaded, but started to hack her way out of the wifi and into the Great Intelligence's system. Man.
• I did like parts of this episode! The way Clara figured out where the monster wifi (I am NEVER going to get tired of saying that) was headquartered was exceptionally clever, the music that played when she and the Doctor were on the motorcycle together was great and I need it and Jenna Louise-Coleman is an excellent actress. There. I'm not JUST a hater, right?